Monday, 25 May 2015

What is the Curse of this Magickal Sword?

One day I was playing some generic action rpg or another on the 360 and I discovered the most amazing sword ever - light - fast - magic damage - lightning - flames - the works!

The only problem was that it was cursed! Every time I wanted to swing left - it would swing right and also vice versa. Then I would try to swing up and it would swing down - a complete inversion of my intention. As if my will were being fixed against an equally repulsive magnetic force. To make matters worse - I couldn't get rid of the sword no matter what I did. I was so frustrated that I nearly threw the controller across the room - how the hell could the devs design something this counter-intuitive!?

Had they never even tried their own product? I mean, the experience was completely asinine, but this was the only game I had at the time. So I struggled with that damn cursed sword for months. Until I finally got in the swing of thing - if you will pardon my pun - mastering evasion and completely pwning the game's fantasy kingdom.

Then one day my brother walks in and says, "What the hell are you doing? Dummy! Give me that! All you have to do is go to the config screen and turn off axis inversions. See? Sheeesh!"

He still won't let me forgot - I was 28, he was 15 - but the really funny thing is that to this day I can't play games any other way than backwards, upsidedown and inside out.

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